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Motherwise Tarts ♥Columns Cooked Up for Parents by Mary Fagan
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Healthy Choices to Answer the Big Fat Question
Anyone involved with a woman longer than a week knows the explosive power packed into this loaded question. Women wiggle around what they really want to hear leaving their men confused, helplessly hunkering down for the big boom set off by placing naïve honesty in close contact with volatile compounds like estrogen and progesterone. When a female asks that question, she wants assurance. She could be feeling frumpy and wants her man to reaffirm how he feels about her, or she knows she looks hot and just wants him to behave like he did back in the day. The reason is of little consequence. Her man’s response is not. Men, today is your lucky day should you choose to use these healthy choices. Like ordering from a Chinese menu, a simple combination of one item from Column A and one from Column B, along with prompt delivery, answer the big fat question in short order. Column A has your lines. Column B is the accompanying action served on the side. Presentation and variety are important so feel free to mix items up. Do not however, use only items from any one column alone. Safe answers require both Ying and Yang. Column A Column B
No. I’m always drawn to your great (*adjective + feature). Glazed eyes. No. You remind me of how I felt when we first met. Penetrating eyes. Naw. You look beautiful. I don’t know how I got so lucky. Wistful sigh. What? Let’s get this (event) over so we can be alone. Intent stare. What do you mean? You always look good. Soft pinch. I hadn’t noticed. What I see looks nice. Peek and smile. What? You look fantastic in that (clothing item). Sweet kiss. No. This reminds me of that time we (good memory). Intent kiss. No. You’ll be the prettiest one in the room. Lightly touch nose or lips. No. When did you get that (clothing item)? Wow. Sailor-like look (not in eyes). You? What ever you got, it gets to me. Smell hair. No, not at all. You got what it takes. Smile, raise eyebrow twice. How can you even ask me that? You look great. Long sniff of perfume. Not! You know you’re in another league than me. 5 second longing stare. That‘s funny. I was just thinking how great you look. Look in mirror together, smile. Heck no. You don’t seem to ever change. Squeeze something. No, and frankly I’m surprised you’d even think that. Shake head in disbelief.
(*NOTE: adjective + feature means items like sparkling eyes, beautiful smile, fabulous hair, full pouting lips, shapely legs, cute button nose, long sexy arms, graceful neck, beautiful hands, etc.)
If you choose to veer off this path of enlightened answers, a few words to the wise: With an honest approach, remember that actions speak louder than words. For example, if you reply, “Gee honey. I like a little meat on the bone,” do not ogle a trim woman within the next 24 hours. This casts more than a shadow of doubt on your preference for women of substance, and will be interpreted as an affirmative answer to the big fat question. Diversionary answers like “Your dress looks beautiful” work with some lightweights. The experienced will pick up on the item being beautiful, not them, which will also be interpreted as an affirmative answer. Lastly, don’t pretend you didn’t hear her asking. My fourth grade teacher was wrong when she told us, “A closed mouth gathers no feet.” Your silence here will be interpreted as an affirmative answer. You’ll get a mouthful. So, if you don’t want any affirmative action, stick to the menu selections. If not, something else might be sticking to your ribs. Copyright © 2007 by Mary Fagan. All Rights Reserved. Copies of, or excerpts from the above columns may not be reproduced without written consent of the author. Unsure of copyright issues? Read this for clarification. |
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info@motherwise.us c.2006-2007 by MP Fagan, LTD
